WIL DARCANGELO: Blog

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We, all of us, are in a large pit right now. The government is trying to throw dirt down to us one bucket full at a time so that we can climb on top of the pile and slowly work our way out. The naysayers seem to prove their points by looking up at the bucket dumps and maneuver their way right under them so they can get dumped on and say, "See! I told you they aren't trying to help us! They're just trying to make it worse!" Bucketful, by bucketful, we are climbing out of the hole - even the naysayers, for most of them complain about the dirt but climb up the pile regardless - and we will eventually not only climb out of the hole but stand on a mountain top in the end. And all the way, their fear of change - their fear in general! - will define how they react to the change that they too have been asking for as it is in progress. We can't really stop that for the fearful are the fearful and they find comfort in ringing alarm bells and shouting from bullhorns that the day of judgment is nigh.

And about that they are correct. Judgment Day is here right now. Only we have come to realize that - surprise, surprise - it is We who are judging Ourselves. We are taking our own industries to task for the way WE have allowed them to be run. We are taking our own governments to task for the way WE have allowed them to govern us. And WE are the judge, jury, defendants, and plaintiffs in our own Judgment Day. I don't mean this metaphorically, I mean it biblically literally. The legendary Judgment Day of all world faiths and philosophies and ancient civilizations is right here, right now. Today. And you are witnessing it firsthand.

This has been foretold by every school of thought from the ancient Mayans to contemporary Christians. And guess what? It's not so bad. We will survive it all. And in hindsight, we will see how the thousands of years of metaphoric preamble to this era might actually lead us to the New Day for which we have been waiting so long to come. Even the famed Mayan Calendar ENDS in 2012! Does that mean that, if they are correct, the world will cease to exist in 3 years? I don't think so. I think that the New Day we are about to experience is so revolutionary that even the prophets could not see into that time. And, in fear, they extrapolated that to mean the end of existence entirely. But I think even God does not know what is in store. He is waiting expectantly to see what eons of Free Will can bring about. He has given us the paint, the canvas, and the inspiration and is waiting to see the work of art we shall create with it.

The fear mongers have always sounded like this about this coming age. Doom and hellfire all around and only the saved will survive. Well, if Judgment Day is really here, who among us are the "saved?" The ones who can look around and see that this is all the Will of God and it is really, really, really good. The saved ones are those who can look up to see the dirt coming down to save us, move out of the way, and say, "See? I told you they are trying to help us! Come on! Climb up!" And look up to the rim of the hole from the depths and shout, "Is that the best you can do?!? Bring the front end loader! We can take it!" And they mobilize the forces in the trench to best sculpt the new dirt into the most stable platform for emergence, letting those who fear vent their fear of the dirt in their own way knowing that in time we will all stand on that mountaintop together - the fearful and the fearless together. Christ has taught us to forgive those who trespass against Us for they trespass against Themselves as well. Forgiveness of their fear - our own fear! - is the only way to salvation. For the fearful in time will help sculpt the new dirt too if we forgive them their fears and accept their assistance lovingly when their light has dawned.

The fearful may be a bit worse for wear when it's all said and done, but some will make it despite their fears and they will then be the first to say, "I told you so!"

And we'll all have a good laugh together.


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I'd like to announce the launch of a new program for the Good-Wil Initiative. The SRO Program.

Many years ago when I lived in Toronto I performed in senior residences with other performers to raise money for our theatre company. We were producing The Taming of the Shrew. It was my very first time producing theatre.

I was completely drawn by the graciousness and gratitude of the audiences for whom we played. For many years since I have wanted to find a way to reestablish that connection.

One of my closest friends is a woman from my church named Betty. Everyone calls her simply Betty, but I call her Miss Betty. I think she's kind of statuesque even though she only seems to notice her stoop. Miss Betty likes my music and comes to my brunches. We go out for lunch as often as we can. She turned 90 last week. She's got some fascinating stories and I've heard them all just enough times to remember some of the details now - which is good because my memory isn't so hot either.

I really want to be involved with this part of my community and the only way I can think of to do that is to perform and visit with them right where they are.

Beginning in March we will begin presenting 90-minute performances of classic American standards in senior residences throughout North Central Massachusetts on a pay-what-you-can basis seeking sponsorship to help underwrite the full cost.

If you are part of or know of a senior community that would like to have a live performance of songs like the following, please email me at wildarcangelo@gmail.com.

It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)
Misty
'S Wonderful
I Have Dreamed
As Time Goes By
The Lady is a Tramp
I Get a Kick Out of You
Fascinating Rhythm
Satin Doll
The Night We Called it a Day
Embraceable You
Hello Young Lovers
I've Never Been in Love Before
Come Fly With Me
At Last
I Won't Dance
Some Enchanted Evening
Only You
All of Me
Bewitched
Johnny One Note
The Nearness of You
I've Got You Under My Skin
My Funny Valentine
Just the Way You Look Tonight
Night and Day
Let's Do It (Let's Fall in Love)
Anything Goes
Somewhere Over the Rainbow


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Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful...

Yesterday's Good-Wil Sunday Music Brunch was a big hit and highly enjoyable for me. My whole band was there and I premiered my new vocal support group RPM as well. RPM stands for Rollstone Performance Mentorship. RPM are: Civ Rosado, 21, from East Hartford, CT; Daniel Lazour, 14, from Boylston, MA; Mikayla Campbell, 18, from Fitchburg, MA; and Jacqui Grilli, 18 from Nashua, NH. They are all students with a professional aptitude for vocal performance and so I'm mentoring them by including them in my performances and training them as featured support vocalists. They were premiered at yesterday's brunch by performing an a capella piece that I wrote called "Snow." They were a huge hit. Congratulations RPM!

We spent the final hour of the brunch developing new music - stopping and starting - tweaking and refining - allowing the remaining audience to have a glimpse at the music development process. It was a highly enjoyable process that I will definitely continue at future brunches.

Hope to see you next month when we're honoring the Rape Crisis Center and Battered Women's Resources on March 8th.


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I'm filming the Department of Public Utilities hearing on Unitil for FATV tonight. Should be fun! I MUCH prefer to see this type of event from an objective vantage point. It was the same way with working on cruise ships. I'd never want to actually pay to go on a cruise (my idea of a vacation is to sit on a sunny porch and read till my eyeballs fall out) but I loved experiencing it as a member of the crew. That's always my preferred vantage point. I don't like to visit a town, I like to get an apartment and get a job. I didn't visit Canada, I became an illegal alien for 5 years, founded a company, hired Canadians, played the title role in a world premiere musical, founded an educational nonprofit, produced theatre, MC'd at fundraisers, and nude sunbathed on Toronto Island. That's why I'm looking forward to filming tonight rather than actually attending the hearing as a consumer.

Although I admit, it isn't as fun as nude sunbathing on Toronto Island.


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Today is an historic day for this entire planet. It is a new moment that had been much imagined, but scarcely believed. It is a barrier broken and can never be mended; not even by those most afraid and most dangerous. And yet I cannot help but be surprised by one thing: It doesn't feel like that big a deal. Now of course it is a big deal - a very, very big deal. But I mean to say that it feels surprisingly natural that we would elect this man as President. Why would we let something like color get in the way of what we really need? I think what we are so amazed by is the fact that it isn't all that amazing. It's perfectly natural - we just didn't know we'd grown up enough to LET it happen. We still believed that we weren't ready until very, very recently. It was only four and a half years ago that we didn't really know who Barack Obama was. After his speech at the Democratic National Convention in Boston in 2004, it took four and a half years to get ready for the idea that it might just not be such a big deal to have a black president. It think THAT'S what we're really blown away by. Not that it happened, but that we were grown up enough to let it happen. We are so proud of ourselves we could bust; and that's exactly a it should be. We deserve to be proud of ourselves. Today we exorcised literally thousands of years of social and hierarchical, planetary tradition. Today we ended a belief that those who are different cannot be equal to the greatest of tasks. Today we raised a shining example of an oppressed people to the highest office we possess in the world. That can never be undone no matter what occurs from this day forward. Jack will not go back in this box. Today we unleashed a triumph of spirit whose effects will never be accurately calculated though much will be made of them. I congratulate all of those who take the new energy of today's new thoughts and make something of themselves that only four and a half years ago they'd have never conceived. I congratulate those who, in four and a half short years, will move mountains right to the chin hairs of Mohammad and not only demand Change, bu co-create it.


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Hello all,

I'm afraid we need to cancel today's brunch due to the weather. But we remain steadfast in our comittment to the 11 Good-Wil Nonprofits we have selected for this season. I am happy to report that the weather has inspired a number new ideas that will continue to assist our community in new and innovative ways. More to follow...

Our next Good-Wil Sunday Music Brunch is set for Sunday, February 8th, 10am-2pm at the Fitchburg Senior Center, 14 Wallace Ave, Fitchburg. Tickets are $12 for adults, $8 for seniors and children 5-12, under 5 free. Any tickets purchased for a weather-canceled event are good for any future brunch of the 2008-9 season (Sept-June) or for face value
at any other Good-Wil Initiative (GWI) event in the same season.
February's brunch was originally slated to honor the good work of the
Thayer Community Music School; it now will ALSO honor the Fitchburg
Firefighters' Community Betterment Fund and the Cleghorn Neighborhood
Center due to the Ice Storm cancellation in December and today's weather cancellation.

Please continue to check www.WilDarcangelo.com for the schedule of Good-Wil Initiative (GWI) events and Journal entries for news, volunteer opportunities, programs and initiatives and thank you for keeping the GWI in your good thoughts.



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A local resident recently emailed me: "On your site it indicated that volunteer opportunities are available. What types of volunteers are you looking for (if you are still looking)?"

Here was my answer:

"Thank you for asking!

There are many volunteer opportunities available right now. The Good-Wil Initiative is still in development, and every day we further design and refine the program. First I'd want you to think about the types of things that you enjoy doing. What are your skills? Where do you work? I usually ask potential volunteers how many hours they feel that they are able to reasonably give per month and that greatly helps define the position.

We do need help at brunches and organizing other events and programs - some posts only require attendance of a brunch and some posts involve designing whole new fundraising programs from scratch. For instance, in 2009 we plan to attempt to get a bingo license and create a new weekly bingo in the area, open a coffee stand, and for the holidays, we hope to operate a Christmas tree business. Now that we are collecting funds 10 months a year into the Good-Wil Annual Fund which will get distributed among the 11 nonprofits we selected for this year's funds, we can hold as many events & programs as possible that will help increase those funds. We need people working in fundraising to help connect us with new corporations who might be interested in sponsoring an event or matching funds raised.

We need people to be nonprofit liaisons also. Nonprofit Liaisons would get to know one or more nonprofits on the Good-Wil Initiative's behalf. They would be our connection with each of the nonprofits who are selected to receive funds at the end of each annual fund year. This is a post that requires only a few hours for each nonprofit that the liaison is willing to collaborate with. For example, if you were the Nonprofit Liaison for the Blue Star Mothers Chapter 1 (who are one of our 11 nonprofits for the 2008-2009 season) you would meet with them and learn about them and what they bring to the community; what service they provide. You would get to know them and help us determine the best way to be of service to them while they are part of our program. At each month's brunch we honor one or more of these nonprofits and if we know them better we are in a better position to help them connect with the community. It is the Good-Wil Initiative's job to connect the community and educate them about the nonprofits in the region one at a time and the NL's will greatly help us maximize our collaboration. As an example, I have been meeting with the Police and Fire Associations to help develop a volunteer corps of local citizens who make phone calls to the community for their annual campaigns. Until now, they have each hired an outside telemarketing firm to make the calls and they take a huge percentage of the funds raised. So, understanding this need, I have been helping them create a new local program that will insure that ALL funds raised by their phone campaigns go to help our community. A Nonprofit Liaison would meet with a nonprofit and help determine these needs and help the GWI help them.

So that's one opportunity, but we can find what best suits your personality (front line or background), your availability (busy soccer mom or career volunteer), and your entrepreneurial interests (leader or helper). Just let me know what would make you both happy and productive!

best, Wil"

SO, if you like what we are trying to accomplish here at home and would like to volunteer just send me an email, and we can get started!



ps Happy new year!

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Judy recently emailed me:

"I was wondering if the Dec. 14th breakfast has been rescheduled. I have 4 tickets and am looking forward to it! thanks!

-Judy"

Hi Judy,

We decided not to reschedule, mostly because it was impossible due to the ice storm and the holidays, but it's a better policy as well. This is going to happen again - weather happens. And it's not fair to make the nonprofits work hard to help plan and sell tickets for their event only to have it canceled, so we're going to pool the money raised over the entire season - and hold other fundraising events as well - and create the Good-Wil Annual Fund. The proceeds of the Fund will be split up amongst the ten local nonprofits being honored that season. Your tickets are valid for any brunch during the rest of the season or for $12/8 towards any other 2008-9 season Good-Wil event. I'm planning on putting up a big thermometer showing the money raised for the Annual Fund. It will hopefully draw additional funds with this type of visibility and good public intentions.

So hopefully, you can attend one of the other brunches. The next ones are January 11, February 8, March 8 and then the rest of the 2nd Sundays each month until June.

best, Wil


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I was sending a friend a holiday email today. He's been having a hard time the past few years and we've talked a lot. When trying to decide a wish for him for Christmas, I realized that it was Comfort I wished most for him. I then realized that it was Comfort that I wanted, too. We all need Comfort. So today I wish you both Comfort and Joy. This is the email I sent to my friend:

"For Christmas, I would give you a little comfort if it were in my power. But since it is not, I'll wish for you to find it for yourself. It's there waiting for you: Comfort. It's sitting in a drawer of your house. You pass by it every day and never think to look for it and therefore never find it. But it's there just the same.

For Christmas, I would have you attempt to believe that Comfort exists for you in exactly that symbolic way. Just like it's in a drawer of your home that just never occurred to you to look in. For I think it is Comfort that we actually seek. And I think comfort is a good goal for us as a mantric concept. If you pray for comfort, the Universe will provide opportunities for you to be comfortable. Which means you are PLACING THE PROBLEMS THAT PREVENT YOUR COMFORT OFF YOUR OWN PLATE and letting the Universe manage them for you; it's trying to do that anyway. When we try to manage our own problems we always get into trouble. We can't see the forest through the trees; we are that close to them. If we pray at all, we spend our time praying for the money to pay this or that bill, or praying to get this problem solved or that problem. But these situations are all just SYMPTOMS of our greater discomfort. The runny nose is not the cold. When you spend your time wringing your mind about your problems it's like praying for one red bump to disappear from a sea of Measles. One must pray for Comfort first, and the Universe, already understanding that it's the Measles which are causing ALL of your little red bumps, can get the message it's been trying to send you through. USE THE CALAMINE LOTION! The one you see in your medicine cabinet every day!! It's been trying to tell you all along. We spend our time worrying, and therefore thinking, ABOUT THE SYMPTOMATIC PROBLEM instead of spending a moment imagining a world without them. And that is the key to RECEIVING the solutions that are available to you at every turn. And you do already see them, but since you don't know that they're real solutions to your real problem, you don't acknowledge them. Because you don't think about your greater discomfort, only the minor and more immediately irritating ones - you're using all your energy, awareness, perception and creativity to solve the symptoms, not bring Comfort.

So today, imagine Comfort. Pray for Comfort. In order for the Universe to gve it to you, it must help you solve your other problems first. Or rather, by asking for Comfort, you are giving yourself permission to RECEIVE comfort and therefore are getting out of your own way from the Solutions with which the Universe bombards you everyday.

Many blessings for this enlightening season, and may you have some Peace today."


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A friend of mine asked me in an email recently: "I am terrible at keeping resolutions. ANy tips on how to do it?" -SJD(S)

I answered:

I guess it depends on the sacrosanctity of the New Year for you. I allow it to hold a lot of significance and so it helps me when I make resolutions. The more years I continue to keep resolutions, the easier it is to not only keep them, but make smart ones. I tend to celebrate two different new year celebrations. Nov 1st is the Elderfaith New Year and I use that to begin my reflections for my Jan 1st resolutions. I have five this year, which may be a bit ambitious, but if I can keep them it'll make it that much easier to keep the following year's promises. The old saying goes: never make a promise you can't keep. That should include yourself most of all. And if you can't keep a promise to yourself, how can you expect to keep the ones made to others? And if you CAN keep promises to others and not to yourself, what kind of message does that send to yourself? It's a big cycle of trust that begins with keeping your own promises. Happy New Year, everyone... and may I be able to follow my own advice! x Wil


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Sadly, we had to cancel our December brunch due to the recent ice storm. The Fitchburg Senior Center is being used as one of many shelters for the hundreds still without power in the city. As fortune had it, however, the food order for the brunch arrived at the Fitchburg Senior Center just hours before the storm hit so there was even MORE FOOD on hand to help prepare the thousands of meals needed to feed the shelter's inhabitants. Also, several of us Good-Wil volunteers made it down on Sunday morning to the shelter (in our Good-Wil t-shirts!) to help out. We were planning on being there anyway after all! Instead of singing from the stage, I sang while setting up cots and cleaning toilets. There were even two people that said they were planning on being there that morning for the brunch, but now they were living there. I sang "Come Fly With Me" for them right there in the corridor. It was my favorite performance to date.

Canceling the brunch added a new wrench in the fundraising works, of course. Lt. Ken Desjean of the Fitchburg Firefighters' Community Betterment Fund had done a lot of work, posed for photos with my dalmatian Hadley, attended several meetings and sold tickets for months, only to have his one event canceled? I needed to come up with a better idea. This is definitely going to happen again - weather occurs - and postponing events in a series is tricky business. Moving it out a week (even if we could) shortens the preparation time for the next one and attendance is affected so easily by so many factors. It's a roulette that I think is unfair.

So, I consulted with the executive committee and created the Good-Wil Annual Fund. The new Annual Fund will pool all fundraising throughout the ten-month brunch season (no matter how many brunches occur) into a single account at Workers' Credit Union. We will attempt to find donors and sponsors who will match funds at certain levels, and add additional events during the season so that we can reach an even larger fundraising goal than one individual brunch proceeds alone could ever match. Also people who have direct-deposit payroll will soon have the opportunity to donate $1 a week to the Annual Fund from their paychecks. Their weekly $1 will go to help ten different local nonprofits every year - spreading the Good-Wil week by week. (If you would like to donate $1 per week, my email is on the Contact page. I will direct you to the appropriate place as soon as it's set up).

So, necessity inspired invention and will now allow us to help even more. It's the best Christmas present I could have received.


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Today's brunch was wonderful. So many wonderful people having such a good time! The volunteers were tireless and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. And the public were so generous with their praise of what we're doing. I must admit, it feels like we've created something new; even if it isn't new. I'm sure that there are other people doing this in other communities right now. Why not? charity brunches happen, right?

So if it's new, it may only be new to us. But I'll take it. I want a little more "new to me" in my life. We could all use a little more in our lives that is new to us.

The Good-Wil Initiative is a new thing. New to me too, in a sense. The concept of an organized expression of my general nature is definitely new. But that is what the Good-Wil Initiative is exactly: The organized expression of my nature. And I really do love this.

I never imagined what form this would take, but I did always imagine my community gathering around my ideas and using my career as leverage for us all. I am proud to be a member of my community. I have said before that I am of, from, and for the City of Fitchburg. I feel somewhat fulfilled today as I write this.

Today's brunch was so much more than I hoped for. The food was exceptional, from all accounts (I never actually got a bite of it myself!) and many kudos to Chef Rosa McCloy for her outstanding work and a KILLER kitchen staff as well. If anyone went hungry this morning, it was their own damn fault because the food was nonstop. Perhaps we should change the name of the series to the Good-Rosa Sunday Brunch (with music) Series. Congratulations to you all. My job is SO much easier than yours!!

The hall staff ran an exceptional room and the place looked immaculate the whole time. Jay Sullivan must have an energizer battery stuffed somewhere because that woman just doesn't stop.

Our raffle was so much fun too! So many people were so generous and seemed to have a good time as well. The streams of raffle tickets everywhere definitely added to the festive look.

Thank you to everyone who came and celebrated the good-work of NEADS with us.

Final performance at Cafe Destare tonight. It has been a wonderful year. Thank you all so much for your wonderful support. I loved every performance.

I have a new project in the early stages of development now and if all goes well, I should be performing regularly again in the area by the fall with my full 5-piece ensemble. Keep your fingers crossed and I'll let you know as soon as there's anything definite to tell.

After nearly two years, I have decided to appear in a stage production. Once I began singing my own material, I no longer had much interest in pursuing musical theatre in order to get paid to sing. But I knew that i wouldn't want to give it up entirely if the right project came along.

I have always admired Russell Garrett as a director and choreographer. He is the Artistic Director of Foothills Theatre Company in Worcester, Massachusetts (www.FoothillsTheatre.com) and has done a lot to bring Foothills forward in the past few seasons. They are mounting a production of "Falsettos" beginning May 10. I am playing the role of Wizzer. Russell Garrett is directing. if you would like tickets please visit the theatre's website.

SYNOPSIS:
March of the Falsettos is a musical with a book, lyrics, and music by William Finn.
A sequel to In Trousers, the one-acter continues the story of Marvin and his journey in search of self-understanding, inner peace, and a life with a "happily ever after" ending. His extended family consists of ex-wife Trina, son Jason, gay lover Whizzer, and psychiatrist Mendel, who complicates matters by becoming involved with Trina. By the end of the piece, Marvin is still unsettled, but he at least knows he has salvaged his relationship with his son.
Directed by James Lapine, the production opened on May 20, 1981 at Playwrights Horizons, where it ran for four months. It transferred to the Westside Theatre and continued for 268 performances. The cast included Michael Rupert, Alison Fraser, James Kushner, Stephen Bogardus, and Chip Zien. An original cast recording was released by DRG Records.
Finn completed his Marvin trilogy with Falsettoland, which eventually became, with March of the Falsettos, the two-act Broadway musical Falsettos.

I have always had this secret fantasy of being an advice columnist, so I contacted my friend Ruth Deamicis at the Winchendon Courier since I know they're always looking for volunteer columnists and asked if I could take a stab at one. Here is my first question and answer...

Dear Wil,
I am having a very hard time. I have never felt so depressed. I have begun counseling, but it's so hard. I hope that this is the bottom that I had to reach to get me to go in a new direction. I feel like I have been slowly slipping into an abyss, I am a little afraid that it is just going to get worse and I won't be able to recover. -Mark

Dear Mark,
I know the abyss of which you speak. I've been there too at different times of my life; counseling is a tough, but fruitful journey. And when I have gone through those periods when I needed that clinical ear to help me sort through some roadblocks, I try to console myself with the fact that I believe only good will come of it regardless of the difficulty. Things hurt right now because you are trying to grow out of old fears and old modes of behavior. Those things don't give up easily and require a bit of salt in the wound to heal. Try to find some comfort in that the fact that feeling the sting at all is proof that that salt's getting in there and doing it's job. All will be well. Stay in counseling and remain vigilant. Do yourself a favor and picture yourself being happy for a moment. Picture the "Ah! moment" when you take a sigh and think 'thank god that's over with.' Picture the feeling of relief that these present things are behind you finally and how good you feel. You know you're going to survive this. And unless you plan to be morbidly depressed for the rest of your life, you'll have to draw the conclusion that at some point you will feel better. Go forward to that point and just imagine it for one full second and the anchor will be dropped. You can go there any time you want and the more you do, the more answers out of the abyss will come. Every time you change the channel just a bit you get a different view.

Be Well, Wil


If you would like to have your question answered, please submit via email to wildarcangelo@gmail.com or visit www.WilDarcangelo.com for more information.

I was speaking today with Anna Griffin for an article in the Worcester Telegram and we spoke about the charitable aspect of my recent album Tuesday is the New Saturday. $20,000 from the first 5,000 units sold will go toward creating a professional performing arts mentorship and scholarship program for the City of Fitchburg. I said a few things on the topic and after our conversation I wrote this to her to elaborate on the thought:

It's all well and good to donate money to charity on the back end once you've made a buck. I prefer to donate on the front end where it has the ability to not only raise money, but awareness. I am not comfortable making a commercial product that doesn't have a charitable element attached to it. I have always been that way. I catch hell for it sometimes too, actually, because as a musician, you are occasionally hovering around the lower tax brackets in the early years. But I still can't stop myself, early years notwithstanding. So even as my career develops, if I live simply, saving room for some comforts but not excessive, there's more left over to spend my money the way I REALLY want to. And isn't that what everyone wants to do with their money? Spend it on the stuff they want? I want to build things. I want to create programs. I want to produce ideas and have the money to fund them. I want to get society to think differently about the educational approach. I want a platform from which I can advocate growth from within, education as a solution, and encouragement as a method. That's who I want to be in the world. And my community is my teacher.


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I was asked to be the Master of Ceremonies for the Inaugural Gala for Lisa Wong. I was given two opportunities to speak. The first greeting of the 500 guests and then after dinner, I Introduced the Mayor for her commentary.


GREETING

Good evening. My name is Wil Darcangelo and I am a native of this City. Among other things, I am the Artistic Director of the Rollstone Performing Arts Series in Fitchburg, I’m the resident jazz vocalist at Café Destaré, and I’m also a part-time substitute teacher at Fitchburg High School.

On my second day at the high school, I was sitting in the teacher’s lounge at lunch where a few teachers were looking over a set of statistics. It listed, by grade, the percentage of FHS students that were failing school. The teachers felt that the figure was biased because – among other problems with the collection of the data – it also included students as failed who never even came to class. How could they fail if they’d never even been there? When the paper came around to me, I took out my green fine point magic marker and where it said 36% failing I wrote 64% passing and likewise re-envisioned the remaining statistics. Not inaccurately, but a new view of the same fact. The hard work of these five teachers was suddenly on trial and when we as a society spend our energy highlighting failure, only greater failure can be the result; and I said so to these teachers.

It’s only a small shift of language to place our energy on our strengths. The same facts can be gleaned from “64% passing” as “36% failing” – but which seed are you watering?

We have with us tonight a small selection of our world. A selection of dignitaries and citizens, of business owners and consumers, artists and patrons. We come from many corners, but it must be that we have at least one important thing in common: We believe in the future of the City of Fitchburg. We are people who are choosing to focus on our strengths knowing that it is the surest road to the elimination of our shortcomings.

After I had said my peace to the teachers I begged their pardon if I had spoken out of turn – for I am not a qualified teacher. And one of them said to me, “Well, you taught us something.”

And we do want to be taught. We do want to learn and grow and see what wonderful things may come of it. We want to be directed to see the things that make us great if only to prove to ourselves that greatness is not only possible, but that we’re already well underway.

But we have asked for this. If we were not ready for someone as exceptional as our new mayor she would not be with us tonight. We have been asking to thrive, and have not given up, and our good intentions have rewarded us with brand new possibilities. Who would have guessed ten or fifteen years ago that we would feel about the future of Fitchburg as we do tonight?

Do yourselves a favor. Enjoy this night immensely. For we have earned it. And let the warmth of this evening ever after bless us all.




INTRODUCTION

They say that those who are adopted are even more special because they were chosen. Lisa Wong is not our biological mother. But by Lisa Wong we have been chosen. We. All 39,000 of us. Chosen by a brilliant, young, parent, I’ll call her, who like any new parent looks into our eyes and sees in us all the hope for the future; all the wonderful possibilities. All the dreams – both formed and unformed. All of our vast, vast creativity and unique qualities that until now have only been hinted at; for we are a bit of an onion after all. We have needed someone young and brave; we have needed someone who will peel back the layers despite the inherent tears and difficulties. We have needed a champion who will build on the good intentions of her predecessors. We have needed a silver lining.

I remember what this City felt like 30 years ago to an eight year old. I remember saving my quarters all summer waiting for Old Fashioned Bargain Days and never once being disappointed by it. I remember Parke Snow’s and Roger’s and Fanny Farmer Candies, and the huge Christmas tree made of lights on the side of the flatiron bank building downtown every year. At the Fitchburg Theatre where I worked when it was still a single movie house I remember seeing my very first R rated movie – Porky’s incidentally.

I also remember being as surprised by the idea of Fitchburg having a bad reputation as I was that people thought disco sucked. I was shocked by both of those ideas. And saw no direct evidence of them. Disco was awesome and so was Fitchburg in my mind. I didn’t know what they were talking about. Fitchburg is so beautiful. A perfect little valley and a perfect little river with perfect little buildings surrounding a perfect little common. Perhaps I am naïve. Perhaps I should have someone show me a set of pie charts and graphs that prove we’re not as wonderful as I think we are. But where would that get me? I don’t want to look at what we’re not. I want to spend my energy and my good thoughts on what we are. And so does our shiny new mayor.

You may be surprised to find that tonight is not specifically about the fact that the City of Fitchburg has voted for Lisa Wong. It is about the fact that long ago Lisa Wong voted for us.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to present Her Honor, the Mayor of the City of Fitchburg, Lisa Wong.


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Exactly one year ago today I fulfilled my New Year’s resolution to put my band together. By February we were beginning to rehearse some of my original music and in the spring we had even recorded some early material. By late April – through a series of highly “coincidental” circumstances – we were offered our first regular headline performing jazz standards right in downtown Fitchburg at a beautiful brand new Manhattan-style martini lounge named Café Destaré. I started playing both Saturdays and Tuesdays, but I knew from the first that Tuesday was going to be the better night. I was right. Saturdays are fun, but Tuesdays have a sophisticated adult clientele that is perfect for the type of music my band is playing right now. I stopped playing Saturdays altogether and focused my market towards the Tuesdays.

Right from the start, my band proved to be a perfect blend of jazz and other genres of music, earning for ourselves the description of “infused jazz;” meaning that the group was playing predominantly jazz, but while constantly under the influence of gospel, rock, funk, folk, blues, latin and nearly any other genre of music we could use to blend our unique sound. Jazz infused with other sounds. I was in heaven right from the start. I love to doing things my own way and the traditional improvisational nature of jazz performance plus the opportunity to blend other styles made it so that I can always be myself. Which was not something that I could do back in the days of musical theatre.

The first several weeks were pretty quiet. A small regular following was developing, but there just weren’t enough people coming in. After having performed at Destaré for about a month, I was contemplating the direction I wanted to take when I thought of the phrase “Tuesday is the new Saturday.” I literally jumped out of my chair at the thought. It’s not that it’s a genius statement or anything – but it suddenly galvanized for me the idea that making Tuesdays successful – like the rest of my black-sheep ideas – is all about thinking outside the box. Tuesday IS the new Saturday. Think differently. Who cares if Tuesday isn’t a traditional night out? If people like me and we take the time to develop our market, Tuesdays would be great. So the partners at Destaré and I held on to see what would happen.

By early November the word was out in full force and my last four appearances for 2007 were to full houses. All of them Tuesday nights. Tuesday is the new Saturday.

On Tuesday, November 13 we released our debut cd “Tuesday is the New Saturday.” A compilation of classic American standards performed my own way and one original jump swing tune named “Tuesday is the New Saturday” composed by me to celebrate the future success of Tuesdays at Café Destaré. The song is dedicated to the Tuesday night staff at Destaré back during those early weeks when I was first getting my feet wet as a jazz vocalist. Jenny Carrion, Kristina Cleveland, Cassandra Heilig, Robin Streb, Carolyn Gray & Jeremy Durrin all cheered me on every week and made sure that the audiences clapped. They learned the words to my original music and I couldn’t have asked for better cheerleaders. The final verse of “Tuesday…” is written specifically to them:

“You make me feel a million dollars every time I stand here
Singing you a love song or two.
I’m talking ‘bout a night of the week that I live for.
I’m talking ‘bout a night when I’m new.
And in case you ever wonder who this love song is meant for,
I’ll tell you right now that it’s you.”

The album release party on November 13 at the club was a huge success and we sold enough albums in the first two weeks to pay for our first real shipment of 1,000 copies of the album. And Tuesday IS the new Saturday…

The most astonishing part of all this is my band, really.

The Reverend Jim Rice is my pianist and arranger. He is such an accomplished musician and music arranger that I don’t even know how I got so lucky to know him, much less get to work with him. He has arranged music for me for symphony orchestra as well that is just breathtaking. For those who don’t know what an Arranger is, he’s the one who takes a basic song and then defines what everyone in the band or orchestra plays as individuals so that the entire package comes out the way you want it to. It’s so crucial to have an arranger who knows musicians and how to communicate with each of them based on a broad knowledge of all musical instruments and their proper notation. If a professional musician sits down to a clean, clear, well-prepared chart, there is little that can go wrong. But when you put a good musician in front of a badly prepared chart, all hell breaks loose and the first thing to go is the musician’s respect for the vocalist – even before a note is played. A major reason why my band sounds as good as it does is because I have immaculate charts that don’t get in the way of the virtuosity of my players. That’s the Reverend Jim Rice. He doesn’t get to play with me that often, but he does when he can and he appears on the album. Just listen to the killer piano on the title track and you’ll know how amazing he is.

On drums is Pieter Struyk (pronounced ‘strike’ which is interesting considering he’s a drummer!). I met Pieter the same way I met Rev Jim Rice, at Foothills Theatre Company in Worcester where Pieter often plays in the pit orchestras of the musicals staged there. I was the Production Manager/Assoc. Producer there for the 2000-2001 season and then acted there professionally as well for the subsequent two seasons. I got to know a number of musicians over that time and Pieter was among my favorites. Such an amazing spirit and nothing but a smile on his face. Everyone loves Pieter. And I haven’t even described his amazing talent yet, either. He has AMAZING talent. Such precision and care. He’s with me almost every gig I play and what he contributes to the style and impact of my music cannot be underestimated. Music lovers tend to take percussion for granted, but believe me, they shouldn’t. If they had any idea of what a drummer really contributes, they’d know how dependant upon and grateful I am for someone like Pieter.

My bassist is Steve Skop. Steve is my primary jazz performance teacher, I’d have to venture. Steve stands behind me at every gig and feeds me encouragement and ideas as we go along. Keep in mind, I’ve never been a jazz performer before Destaré offered me a job doing just that, so there was a lot for me to learn about the genre. All I had working for me is a decent voice and some stage presence to bring to the mix. But there is so much more to this type of performance of which I had no idea getting started. How the band communicates with each other on stage is a huge facet that most people would never notice. It’s a complicated language: partly spoken, partly signaled, and partly musicalized form through which the band knows who’s going to solo at the next interval, where to jump to in the piece, and how to improvise the ending, among myriad other things. They all listen to me too, as a matter of fact, and they know just what to do when I decide to try something new on the spur of the moment. Steve Skop is my primary teacher of these things and I feel well-educated. Less comfortably, but no less important, is what Steve teaches me about the mistakes I make. Usually those mistakes are about being a bandleader, not just a performer. They are lessons in managing a band and the things a musician needs in order to give their best possible performance. I have made several mistakes in this area and my band have always been kind about it when these gaffes are made. Steve always explains what’s expected and I make the corrections to the best of my ability. And now I can talk about his playing! Superb! He has this great gift for quirky solos. I don’t know if he’d like knowing that I describe his solos as ‘quirky’ for they are not always like that – sometimes they’re beautiful and dignified, but I like the quirky ones he does best. They have this distinct personality that I love and don’t hear in other bassists now that I listen more carefully. It’s like he has the ability to keep up with MY quirkiness and play right into it. If I played bass, I’d want to play like Steve.

Zach Chadwick is my woodwind player – which means mastering all manner of clarinets, saxophones and flutes – and he is a young genius, I just know it. Only in his late 20’s, and the only member of my band that doesn’t make a full time living at it, Zach has the taste and style of a much older player. His parents play in the symphony orchestra in which I made my symphony debut, the Thayer Symphony Orchestra and now that I get to perform with their son, I see where his talent comes from. His improvised solos are so much fun, I sometimes forget to start singing again when they’re over and it’s my turn! I have my fingers crossed that when Zach finally leaps into the full-time music world that he so richly deserves, that it’s because he’s being regularly employed by ME!

Kevin Grudecki is my guitarist and if you ask my band who the most talented player is they’d all say Kevin, I bet. I feel as though I yet haven’t scratched the surface of what this man is capable of and I can’t wait to find out. Kevin came on board mostly on the recommendation of Steve, Pieter and Zach and I’m so lucky to have him. Every time he plays with us the band gels into this beautifully structured machine where all facets seem to communicate with each other effortlessly. I’ve worked with only three musicians (piano, bass & drums), four (add Zach), and five including Kevin, and five is definitely my favorite. Somehow everyone knows what to do when they’re all together in a way that is far greater than the sum of even these wonderful parts. It’s like Kevin is some sort of miracle whip…lol. Given the improvisational nature of this type of performance, the interpersonal dynamics of the band is an essential component in giving a good jazz performance. It’s not like everyone has a pre-arranged music part that they have only to play the notes as indicated. These musicians have VERY little to go on and improvise the bulk of it. If they can’t communicate with each other or if they are too self-interested, the group improvisation could fall apart. Kevin brings this wonderful cohesion to the group and very clearly influences our style at every turn. My band is going to develop over the course of this year into a really unique and amazing organism and Kevin will be at the forefront of that development.

Given the fact that my musicians all work regularly in the music field (teaching, performing, etc), they aren’t always available when I need them, so they book substitutes to play for them in these instances. I have learned to trust implicitly the subs that my band choose to occasionally replace them and I have worked with a lengthy set of some amazing musicians this year because of this. Shane Wood, pianist, is one that I used most often this year. He’s smooth, cool and relaxed. He has great style and “plays well with others” would definitely go on his report card. Grammy-nominated jazz pianist Joe Parillo is another player that I used during the summer months several times and I’d play with him again in a hearbeat. He lost the Grammy that year to John Williams, by the way. Tom Hojnacky is the third sub pianist I’ve worked with this year and though I’ve only played with him twice, I look forward to the future. He’s got a fantastic ear and improvises fantastic solos. On the bass, Mike Goodspeed and Bob Simonelli have subbed in for Steve and they both gave fantastic, well-polished performances. On drums, both Dan Hann and Bill MacGillveray (who is also played with the Thayer Symphony Orchestra for my performances with them) give great performances while at the same time managing to exude the same wide-smiled enthusiasm that Pieter gives in every performance. I’d greatly miss that part when Pieter is absent and it’s a large part of our package as a band.

On saxophone, I’ve had two subs as well this year. Tom Herbert is a great player and his sax solos brought down the house the one occasion I got to work with him. Neil Kruszkowski has sat in with me just to jam on a couple of occasions and once I actually got to hire him. Neil is a huge find. Just recently moved to the Leominster area, few know he’s here yet. He plays every Thursday at the Harley House in Lunenburg with one of my other regular subs, Shane Wood. He plays entirely by EAR!

I feel so blessed to be learning from these men, that I just wanted to share it. They have been unfailingly kind and generous with their talents and they are making me into the type of musician I most want to be. Thank you, guys… happy new year.

This year is going to be amazing, I just know it. A new album, a new band, a new direction. I’m good to go.


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We had a WONDERFUL release party last Tuesday at Destare. So much fun. It was packed and everyone dressed up. We sold about 50 cds that night and we're closing in on the first 100. Once that happens we can pick up the next 1000 copies and then begin the online distribution. Talking to a record label and have contacts with a good promoter now. People are staring to become interested now that there's some solid product to wave around. I feel so blessed.


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That's probably more of a filmmaking vernacular than a recording one, but it still applies. All the tracks have been recorded and mixed and are waiting for final approval before mastering. The album release has been reset to Tuesday, November 13th with a party to be held at Café Destaré that evening. My entire five-piece band will be there (usually I have only been budgeted to perform with 3 musicians and occasionally 4) and the night promises to be a fun one. The Billboard Project is well underway as well with Worker's Credit Union signing on this morning as Principal Sponsors. I am seeking the remaining sponsorship money now and the billboard will be up in time for the release if all goes well.

With all that's been happening, I have become overwhelmed as of late with the unqualified support I am and have received from the City of Fitchburg and the people here. So much so that yesterday I wrote a Letter to the Editor of the Sentinel & Enterprise. Here is what I submitted:

Letter to the Editor
Sentinel & Enterprise
24 October 2007


My name is Wil Darcangelo and I’m a vocalist, songwriter and cultural advocate from, of, and for the City of Fitchburg. It is in this letter that I wish to express at least a fraction of my gratitude to the City that has raised, supported, sponsored and educated me. Many people here know who I am and what I stand for as a believer in the elevation of culture and education on the hometown level; I strive everyday to be effective in that intent. But that intent would be practically worthless if it weren’t for the fact that the people here have embraced me and given me every available opportunity to develop myself as both a performer and social entrepreneur. This City has given me my best venues of education toward my intent. It has witnessed my first performances with our beloved Thayer Symphony Orchestra, my concerts with the Rollstone Performing Arts Series at Rollstone Church, and now my regular Tuesday appearances at what is arguably the best jazz venue for fifty miles: the new Café Destaré.

The City government has proven itself to be on my side as well, giving me unprecedented approval to apply for a soon-to-be-installed large illuminated billboard that will help to promote both my Tuesday night appearances at the club as well as the coinciding November 13 release of a new jazz fusion album entitled “Tuesday is the New Saturday.” This album will help to raise scholarship money for Fitchburg’s graduating seniors interested in pursuing the performing arts. The government of this City has embraced my intent and given its blessing; I am truly grateful. Even this newspaper – the Sentinel & Enterprise – continues to prove its support of my intent by helping to promote my projects at every turn. WEIM and our beloved Ray C have broadcast my music repeatedly, giving me the opportunity as a result of those broadcasts, to become a member of ASCAP and further develop myself as a serious professional musician.

I wish to direct very special gratitude to the partners of Café Destaré, Lance Dellogono, Paul Goguen, and Chris Iosua. Their vision to bring live music and sophistication to the downtown area has added dimension and breadth to the new cultural renaissance that our City is beginning to experience. They have believed in me from the very first and have given me a wonderful environment in which to hone my skills as a national music product. I could never have been given better opportunities in New York or Los Angeles regardless of my perceived talents. Their continuing support of my steadily growing Tuesday appearances at Destaré proves that their intent is genuine and on par with those of other cultural leaders in our community. Building a following for a Tuesday night isn’t easy, especially when it’s so out of the box from our former cultural experience here. But due entirely to their diligence and care, every week there are new faces showing up on a Tuesday evening and staying out just a little bit longer on a weeknight to sit in awe at what they have accomplished here. I am in awe as well. I am so proud to be able to believe in my own future and know that this self-confidence is predicated entirely on the emotional investment of these men and the people who attend to it. Thanking them publicly seems to be the only fitting way of expressing my deep gratitude.

The City of Fitchburg has given me literally every best opportunity I have ever had in my career to prove to the world that good and worthy product can be developed and supported on the hometown level. This City has given me the ammunition to bring my product to wider audiences and show them the success of this model in turn. It has given me courage, strength, sponsorship dollars, gainful artistic employment, and the fortitude to face the unknown.

Thank you. I am in your service.

with great respect, Wil Darcangelo


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self-ish (sel′fsh) adj. 1 motivated by personal needs and desires to the disregard of the welfare or wishes of others. 2 Proceeding from or characterized by undue concern for self. -self′ish•ly adv. -self′ish•ness n.

It’s the parts about “disregard…of others” and “undue concern for self” that I find the most damaging to the overall purpose of Selfishness as a practice. There is more to a word than just its practical and widely-accepted definition. In fact, there is nothing in the etymology of the word ‘selfish’ to suggest that it means anything other than the fact that it is indicative of action that has the subject’s own interests in mind. It does not comment on that fact to suggest that it’s a sinful behavior or that it is an action done to the exclusion of other’s needs as well. The 1975 Doubleday Dictionary from which I’m quoting the definition says, or rather repeats, that it’s a bad thing and, quite understandably, so do you. However, the word itself does not.
Most interestingly, the word ‘selfish’ isn’t even in the bible. There were no words for ‘selfish’ in Greek and Hebrew. There are words for ‘self’ in Greek and Hebrew, but they refer mostly to body and bone as opposed to the more total picture of body, soul and awareness. For example, in Exodus 21:3 the English reads, "he shall go out by himself," but the text literally says, "he will go out with his body." Interesting concept actually. If ‘he’ is not his body, what is going out with it? Ironically, this particular passage of the bible is about the rules of purchase in the slavery trade.
According to askalinguist.org, the word ‘selfish’ was coined by a Presbyterian archbishop in 1640 who had need of it in “reference to the acts of 1640.” That the word has no sound etymology should no longer be surprising. Its creation was borne from a need to create more judgmental adjectives and it is therefore not a word originally, but an idiom. Jargon. The language of his profession.
So we use ‘selfish’ to mean someone who thinks of themselves too much. But too much according to whom? At what point is it ok and at what point is it too much? For it would appear you should never be thinking of yourself, right? You should always think of others before yourself. And even then, you should still think of others. So, never think of yourself ever, because there’s always someone else on which you can focus your attentions thereby relieving yourself of any and all obligation to deal with your own issues.

If we break down the word’s actual structure…

self- combining form 1 Of oneself or itself: self-analysis. 2 By oneself or itself: self-employed 3 In oneself or itself: self-absorbed 4 To, with, for, or toward oneself: self-satisfied 5 In or of oneself inherently: self-evident.

That’s beautiful, actually. Poetic. No judgment at all. In fact, there’s even a hint of pride and drama in the sweep of its definition. Analysis. Occupation. Passion. Satisfaction. Evidence.
In other words, Experience. Experience=Self. You are the sum of your experiences.

-ish suffix 1 Of or belonging to (a national group): Danish. 2 Of the nature of; like: clownish. 3 Verging toward the character of: bookish. 4 Somewhat; rather: tallish. 5 Informal Approximately: fiftyish.

In a nutshell, ‘-ish’ means being, becoming, emulating or approximating. I’m not misinterpreting that, am I? That archbishop created the word because there was something that needed describing. That something was related to self. And we were still developing what ‘self’ meant. Millennia ago, the words for ‘self’ referred to the tangible. Bone and flesh. Spirit was separate; an entity unto itself housed ignominiously in rotting flesh. By 1640, the archbishop certainly wasn’t blaming the flesh alone for committing sin. Or was he? If previously, the only words for ‘self’ referred only to the flesh, then the use of ‘–ish’ juxtaposed to that concept by a religious leader brings an entirely new meaning likely unintended by its creator. And one that would explain exactly what type of sin it was that might have needed describing as well.

That archbishop created a bit of an oxymoron, though. His original use is about the body, but the two parts of the word ‘selfish’ can only indicate a meaning of wanting to be aware, wanting to know, wanting to emulate, wanting to be. A concept that’s entirely spiritual and growth-oriented.



When I was in acting school, we were taught that, “There is no such thing as an unselfish motivation.” In other words, when approaching a scene, part of your preparation should be to examine what the character stands to gain or might want to gain in the course of the scene or play as a whole.
And I started to think that there must be a point at which you draw the line. A point at which it’s ok to have a selfish motivation and a point at which it’s not. But that didn’t sit well. That wasn’t what was concerning me. What concerned me was that if it was a good concept—a valid one—it would be applicable to all scenework. Not just some of them. And if it was a good acting concept (keeping in mind that examination of the craft of acting is the examination of human behavior itself), its universality would have to extend to real life as well.
After a great deal of thought, I realized that there was no flaw in the concept as pertains to scenework. I could find a selfish motivation for every character in the play without difficulty. Then again, it was a play about reprehensible people and selfish motivations were the whole point of the plot.
And so, I started examining my daily actions to discern the selfish motivation within.
And then on my way home one evening I gave $5 to gentleman who asked for change. What was the selfish motivation in that action? And come to think of it, how was any generous act selfish? What about altruism? Which is defined as “the unselfish devotion to others” by my trusty Doubleday. And yet, we do give. So if there was any credence at all to the philosophy, there must be something selfish about giving $5 to a bum on the street. And there is. We do nice things because it makes us feel good. It connects us to Source. And it’s rarely anything more than that.
I learned a little bit about human nature in acting school. Which is interesting considering the fact that it’s a formalized training the goal of which is to make you better at pretending to be human-ish.



So, I am suggesting that from now on, everything you do should have your own best interests at heart. Be selfish. Do only those things from which you can receive benefit.
Ah, but then it becomes a matter of where you look to see the benefit to you. What is your line of sight? Consider past the immediate gratification we cling to in this adolescence of our spiritual evolution and think about how we really are affected by the things we do. The long-term. The far-reaching.
What ye sow, so shall ye reap.
And speaking of agriculture, what might those who clearcut rainforests for their own gain be called? Well, that’s more like a complete lack of selfishness. A complete lack of awareness of self as it pertains to the whole. The inability to receive from Source.
So, here’s where it comes in that God made man in his own image. And about that image…was it total? Was it metaphoric? Was it that our souls in their true form look like a mini-God? Or that He looks like a big hairy person?
If we’re made in His image, are we like glow-in-the-dark plastic people on God’s dashboard? Or are we made of the same stuff as God? If God were to make an image of Himself, what other materials would He use? What does a Mother use to make her child? A part of herself, of course.
And in the spirit of that (no pun intended), if we are made of the same stuff as God, we would have within us the ability—however comparatively short-sighted—to see ourselves as God sees us. The bigger picture. The repercussions of an act. For that is really the loss of innocence: the realization of cause and effect. The awareness of implication. That was really what Adam and Eve both lost and gained in the taking of the fruit. They knew a little bit more of the Big Picture and innocence was lost to them forever. I personally see it as a good thing even if the old views of the church see it as the first example of blasphemous disobedience to God.
But I don’t think God wants us to be obedient. I think He wants us to break the rules and question them and see if we notice what happens when we do. He applauds us when we figure it out and He nudges us when we stray. He nudges us in our design. When we don’t act in the positive spirit of Selfishness, we simply don’t feel good. That’s the perfection of being a Self-Correcting Mechanism. I think that we don’t often enough look to God as a parent with whom we may fight, and disobey, and learn from, and love in the way we love something that no matter what we do, will still love us. We always fear that God will stop loving us, or perhaps, already has. And if someone’s own parent had done that, how could it be imagined by them that God wouldn’t? The image of God has become one of fear versus respect. But that very concept is the thing that prevents us from seeing things as God might see them. It calls the very idea an arrogance. But I say it is not arrogant to want to see things as God sees them. If we emulate God in our own way, from our own perspective and with the tools He gave us, we stand a chance of seeing a much larger picture. One that might include a better idea of how to go about getting what you want. Or, better still, wanting something different.

There is a point at which it first dawns on us that what is in our best interest is the best interests of others. It is here where we have finally earned the responsibility of the care of our people. It is a car with an unlicensed driver until then. Too few selfish choices are made. Too much self-destruction. Too many things done that are not in our best interest.
If we only behaved just a bit more selfishly, the world would change forever. The statement is perfect in its balance. It may be viewed through the argument of either direction and both arguments are true. If we only behaved just a bit more selfishly, the world would change forever.


Selfish. Be selfish. Repeat after me: I will be more selfish. Again. I will be more selfish. Again. I will be more selfish.
Imagine walking along a treacherous mountain trail, sheer rise on one side and sheer drop on the other, and there is one hiker in front of you and one behind. The one behind you doesn’t care for himself. He thinks poorly, he eats poorly, and he smokes. In fact as you hike, he’s smoking with his free hand. But the hiker in front of you is well trained. In shape and interested in the terrain. She’s hiked this trail before and loves it. She hikes it all the time because it makes her feel good. She’ll show you all the nice spots.
The hiker in front is Selfish. The hiker in the rear is Selfless. If you were to loose your footing, to whom would you reach first? Which of these two hikers better suited to be of service?


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The new album "Tuesday is the New Saturday" is underway! Band tracks were recorded on Monday and the vocals and instrumental solos get laid down this week... This is going to be a really great album. Last night at Destare we premiered the original song that will go on the cut, my new jump-swing tune "Tuesday is the New Saturday" to rave success. So gratifying! There will be 11 tracks in all on the album including really groovy versions of "The Nearness of You", "My Funny Valentine", "At Last", "Some Enchanted Evening", "Come Fly With Me", "Let's Do It", "And I Love Her", "Anything Goes", "Only You", and "All of Me". The album will release on November 6 and will be available here on the site as well as at the club and other places. Wider distribution deals are being discussed next week. Keep your fingers crossed!


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Tuesday nights at Destaré are cookin! I'm enjoying my regular night there IMMENSELY! A nice regular crowd has been building... 20-somethings and 60-somethings and everyone in between. It's so gratifying to see such a diversity of people. There's been a happy resurgence of interest in the classic American standards thanks to artists like Michael Bublé and others. Songs like "I Get a Kick Out of You" and "At Last" still have such a beautiful and lasting impact on music lovers. And I add to that more contemporary material from the Beatles, Elton John, soon Joni Mitchell and Pink Floyd and I'm increasingly adding my own original music to the sets as well - to great response. Definitely check me out on Tuesdays if you get the chance. Tuesday is the new Saturday! Café Destaré 320 Main Street, Fitchburg, MA

The Destaré Billboard Project is underway! Check out photos of the proposed billboard on the Photos page.


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This is a meditation I wrote and delivered on 13 September 2007...

What occurs when you speak to God? Do you speak to God? Do you feel worthy of such an act? I hope so. For I’m sure you are.

What is your opinion of yourself, really? Do you think you’re perfect at everything you do? Do you even think you’re good at everything you do? If you were to ask your soul what it thinks of you, what would its answer be? Think on that for a moment. If your soul were asked the question What do you think of this person? do you think it would have a bad opinion of you? I think it would have a glorious opinion of you. For it knows you – it is you. But without the fear and without the self-doubt and judgment we heap upon ourselves while we as spiritual beings move through this human experience. It knows the pure you. It is the pure you. And what might your soul think of you? Does your soul judge you because you procrastinate when it knows to root of your procrastination as well as the solution for it? Does your soul judge you harshly when you say hurtful things or does it know the pain you feel and weeps with you when you lash out in anger? What would your soul really think of the choices you make knowing what it knows? What would God think, for that matter, assuming there is a difference between you and God at all? Something tells me that the answer would be: THEY ARE PERFECT JUST AS THEY ARE.

I don’t find this to be a particularly difficult argument to make. I think that we do believe that God loves us and that if created in his image – an image of perfection – we must have been created in perfection. Can you ever un-bless a thing? If God himself blessed you with perfection in your making, could it ever be taken back or diminished?

Well, how about forgotten? Have you forgotten your perfection? Have you forgotten that perfection is not a goal? It is a constant.

We treat the concept of Perfection as though is it some point on a map with no known roads between it and us. We treat the idea that we are divine as if it were some slogan on a t-shirt that we wear but never read. Does God even HAVE the ability to create something imperfect? Why would he? And simply because we have discomfort about our environments and wonder why we should be subjected to some of the horrors we face and read about every day, does that mean for sure that these circumstances were created imperfectly? If God made one thing perfect, then he made them all perfect. Did he just choose to give perfection to some things and not others? Or worse – is nothing perfect at all? If we were created to become perfection, then like the tree within the seed, that possibility must have ALWAYS existed. In this regard, even the belief that perfection is a goal proves that perfection was actually always the case.

How often does it occur that something which felt awful and uncomfortable at the time proved to be a most valuable moment? Something that you learned from. Something that you grew from. In the beginning was the pain. The loss. But God was there. And as you moved through it and the blinding pain diminished and you began to see a thread of growth emerge... God was there. And when you looked back someday and laughed about it all, God was there. If God’s approval of you is apparent at the end, in retrospect isn’t it doubly apparent at the beginning when things seemed so dark? Have you ever wondered how many tears have been shed for things that were ultimately good for us? If God loves us enough to make joy available to us, then he must love us enough to give us the tools to learn to cultivate that joy. He must love us enough to give us contrasts so that we may make our mistakes and have our sorrows. And learn from ourselves.

God’s perfection to us is that we are self-correcting.

There is no end and no beginning to our growth. We acknowledge in our faith that we are eternal. But that too we treat like an unread t-shirt slogan in that we repeat it but do not think what it implies. We say that God has no beginning and no end. Do we? We say that we have a beginning and an end when we think of our humanity, but we forget to apply that thought of eternalness to our souls and therefore forget to ponder what it means to have an eternal soul. It means that perfection is a state of existence, a fact of our creation and not some destination to dream of visiting without any real belief that it can be ever achieved. So if perfection is not a destination, the only other option is that we must have already arrived.

Perfection is right here, right now. You are perfect in that you are self-correcting. You move through life and learn as you go what feels good and what doesn’t. You make new choices not to put your hand in the fire because you learned that it damaged you. But you healed. Sometimes there is a mark left by the experience, but you healed. And you learned. You are self-correcting. That is the evidence of God’s genius. You already are perfect. Think of how brilliant it is to be something that FIXES ITSELF AS IT GOES ALONG? What have we as humans ever created in all our technology that can fix itself?

In the scope of humanity at large it is also apparent - at least to me - that we are perfect. We have our wars and we have our terror and we have people doing reprehensible things to each other. But does that mean for sure that these things are not perfect as they are? We know that God allows us pain. Does it mean that we are unloved? Or can we for a moment entertain the idea that our free will is the very element that gives us such power. We are free. God gives us the ultimate freedom. We are so free that we can choose bondage. And how often we do. But that, too, is perfect. And God loves us as we suffer ourselves and fall and weep because he knows exactly what those tears mean to the selves we shall become.

We are perfect. And as such we are as worthy of speaking to God as we are of speaking to ourselves. If there is even a difference at all.

When we pray we so often have the glaze of unworthiness covering our every request. With our mouths we say give us peace while in our hearts we chastise ourselves for making war. We think how can we deserve peace? And lo, and behold, peace never comes.

We curse the wealthy because they have what we don’t have and we cut ourselves off from our own natural inclination to abundance in the process. Our expressed desires are different from what we’re actually thinking. We say we need money, God, give us what we need. You say to ‘ask and ye shall receive.’ I’m asking, but not getting! It’s because you’re forgetting to really believe you’re worthy of it. It’s because you’re expressing your desires, but not believing they’re possible. It’s because you believe that there is a distinction between what God wants of us and what we want for ourselves. There is no distinction. We want to be happy and God wants us to be happy. The only one convincing you otherwise is you.

If you really believed that you were worthy of winning a million dollars and had no self-doubt that it was possible, it would be waiting for you on the table by the time you got home. But how many obstacles to really having that belief exist between you and the cash? Well, there’s “statistics”, for one. We love our statistics. They console us for not believing in ourselves! Odds of winning 1:1,000,000. Whew! That’s a relief. It saves me from having to actually believe it might happen! Even though we know there’s a 1, we assume that we must be somewhere among the million other self-doubters.

Our thoughts poison our abundance and our natural inclination to balance at every turn. How many of you would like to lose weight? We think "I must lose weight. Help, me God, to lose weight." What do you think the Universe is going to respond to? Your thoughts. What are you thinking about in the statement: "I must lose weight"? You’re thinking about losing weight, right? But in that sense, Ask and Ye Shall Receive dictates that since you’re not actually asking to BE THIN and are forming the thoughts in your mind of Losing Weight as the ideal circumstance for you to be in – that State of Losing Weight, that is – then God will keep allowing you to lose weight because that is what you have asked for. He’ll keep on giving you weight to lose! Ask and ye shall receive.

Now, how many people do you know that lose weight only to put it back on again? Over and over? What do you think their thoughts are? I bet their thoughts are not about seeing themselves as being happy and balanced with bodies that naturally conform to that reality.

What else might this concept apply to?

God wants us to be happy. He wants us to figure it out that everything is available to us. That we are immeasurably powerful and can GIVE OURSELVES anything that we could wish for. Anything that we can imagine and believe to be our birthright. Our immense power is our birthright. Our ability to self-correct is our gift. Again, we are so free that we can choose bondage. Ask and ye shall receive. Ask whom? If we are fragments of God, then together we ARE God. If we are the descendents of Source, then our true essence – hampered only by our own fears and self-judgments – must be immeasurably powerful. If only we get the heck out of our own way.

I found out about a study a few years ago that started me thinking about the power of thought intention. There’s a film called “What the Bleep Do We Know” about quantum physics and the way thought changes a material environment. In the film, a study by Dr Masaru Emoto in Japan is illustrated. Dr. Emoto took water samples from the same dam and bottled them. Then he directed energetic intentions at them in a variety of ways. Some were rayed over, some were blessed. Mostly he played music at them like Mozart or heavy metal music or taped short statements like I love you or you make me sick to the bottles. Then he froze samples of the water exposed to each intention and examined the crystalline structure under a microscope. The results were startling - look him up on the internet and you'll see what I mean. The crystal structures responded to thought and formed in astonishing ways.

No hocus pocus. Thought changed the environment of the water and freezing it made those differences visible. There have been other studies that have shown that blessing an object actually aligns the molecular structure. I couldn’t tell you how they proved it, but it doesn’t surprise me that it’s true.

So what does that imply? It sounds like the rudimentary basis of some really powerful thinking. We’re made of how much water? If taping the words You Make Me Sick on a bottle can produce a crystalline structure that actually resembles a virus, what must thoughts of unworthiness do to your body? Our bodies are mostly water. If you’re directing thoughts of Boy, I’m Fat at yourself, what do you think is happening to you because of it? But if you’re directing thoughts of Damn, I Look Good what do you think is happening? You body says, FINALLY I can get some peace. Okay you guys over there start getting in order, she’s finally figured it out! Keep thinking good, lady, and we’ll keep working on that being true! Don’t give up!

Our thought language is the single determining factor in the success of our prayers. You may recite The Lord's Prayer or The Rosary, or Kaddush, the Buddhist Gonyos - unless you're thinking about what you hope to accomplish by them and NOT sabotaging those thoughts in the process - they cannot manifest. If you're saying a Rosary to help your son get an A on his history final and as you do, you worry that he isn't applying himself - or even worse - that he isn't intelligent enough, how can that help? You need to be thinking about his success, not your concern for his failure. Ask and Ye Shall Receive.

Be well. Think well. Live well. I am rooting for you.